13 June, 2011

The Incredible Personal Trainer

Lately I've been having a problem finding my motivation. Maybe I need to hire a fitness coach or trainer? I have a feeling, this personal trainer would do the job nicely.

01 June, 2011

Top 15 Ways To Tell You've Joined A Bad Gym

- You're personal trainer talks about healthy eating, then asks what you plan on making for dinner. No matter what you tell him he asks "Can you make that for two?"

- There is a sundae bar available after each work out.

- The exercise machines are limited and have 'take-a-number' on each.

- In order to enter the gym you have to step on a scale and your weight is broadcast to the entire gym.

- Equipment is rusty and machines have missing parts.

- The cleaning department consists solely of signs reading "Your mom doesn't work here".

- The gym is centrally located in the middle of a cemetery.

- Water from the drinking fountains is brownish and smells funny.

- Lockers aren't equipped for padlocks and are based on the honor system.

- There are more creepy men leering at each other in the locker room than in the actual gym.

- The swimming pool is filled with alligators. (Unless you live in the South, then it's normal).

- Fresh eggs, whole milk & goat cheese are standard methods of paying for membership dues.

- The only security cameras in the building are in the women's locker room.

- The fitness machines consist of 10 Bowflex, 10 Abflex, 5 Thigh Masters & 1 Vibrating Belt.

- There is a discussion group in the center of the gym where everyone talks about their feelings and cries when they gain weight.